I Can't Keep Track Of Each Fallen Robin

by a balladeer

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credits

released October 19, 2012

produced, engineered and mixed by Reyn except where noted
mastered by Martijn Groeneveld
coached by Buffi Duberman

photography by Sylvia te Riele
artwork by Erwin van den IJssel

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about

a balladeer Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Dutch singer/songwriter best known for the hit 'Swim with Sam'. In 2009 a balladeer's sophomore album 'Where Are You, Bambi Woods?' was nominated for a Dutch Grammy. In the past a balladeer has been the support of Keane, Live, Saybia, Jay Brannan, Beth Hart, Gabriel Rios, The Feeling and Tom McRae. ... more

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Track Name: My "I'm Sorry" Song To You
so without a cloud in sight
you went and changed the mood
you longed for no one else
but asked for solitude

I begged, I stole, I borrowed
I stuck around like glue
this is my “I’m sorry” song to you

I nursed you through my tears
until you got immune
you turned your head to drink
I poured my heart out in tunes

then

when you drowned our sorrow
I was sad for two
this is my “I’m sorry” song to you

oh, I know I have cursed your name and God’s
yeah, I know I held you off for far too long
but I lost all I got
because I never thought
there’d ever come a time
when your eyes and your heart would stop idolizing me

now

yesterday’s tomorrow
way far overdue
this is my “I’m sorry” song to you

if -fill in- is the one
I’m still your number II
you’re back with someone old
so I need someone new

this is nothing borrowed
this is something blue
this is my “I’m sorry” song to you

my “I’m sorry” song to you
Track Name: Questionnaire
did you ever run into that snowman again?
did you ever stop drinking to see if you can?
did you ever find someone so harmless and free?

don’t you worry bout me

did you check out Berlin on a Saturday night?
did you maybe go back with a bit of contrite?
did you narrate what happened in May ’33?

don’t you worry bout me

what about me?
I am all right
still holding on tight
to the pact with all my might
and you know me
no good with regret

no, I’m still not over it yet

do you still bite your nails, put up fights with your hair?
do you still use your smile a bit over-aware?
do you still have those crazy, those bull-shit ideas?

don’t you worry bout me

what about me?
I am all right
still holding on tight
to the pact with all my might
and you know me
no good with neglect

no, I’m still not over it yet

but enough about that

did you ever wake up and get out of that phase?
did you ever greet Spring after seizing the days?
did you ever uncover all of your glee?

don’t you worry bout me
Track Name: Sleepover
what do you think
of course I’m fine
with your little trip to the countryside
everything here is under control
I made my own plans for the weekend
all turkey cold

you do the drinking
go get lost
and I’ll do the thinking
for the both of us

what do you think
of course I care
that you’re with him out there
slamming vodka, beer or wine
alle Menschen werden Brüder
within a pair of pints

you do the drinking
go get lost
and I’ll do the thinking
for the both of us

this is where you come in
and drop your bags
and throw your arms around my legs

you do the drinking
go get lost
and I’ll do the thinking
for the both of us
Track Name: Robin
You wrote about New York.
There had been a change of plans.
You had put your dream on ice for your life felt too intense.
The distance in your eyes popped up in the lines you dropped.
Endearments disappeared right before your writing stopped.

That last time at the bar I observed you from the back.
Your famous wooden necklace looked all tight around your neck…
And I could not help but watch and to speak on my behalf:
Your friend seemed quite a bore.
Not once I saw you laugh.

I gave up on the hope.
You won’t ever come around.
Run into me by chance in some record store downtown.
May you really seize the day and those horsemen do it all.

P.S. By the way, does Robin ever call?
Track Name: Our Song
I still have that picture
that Polaroid I took
there is loving in your eyes
and you have this sleepy look

it was the year 2000
and as I recall
we spent Christmas by ourselves then
between my bedroom walls

and I used to like to tease you
and I used to strike you dumb
and I loved it when you sang or hummed

mmm mmm…

we watched figure skaters and lovers holding hands
when we did our best at trying to be friends
at least I was

thank God you never saw me clutch at straws

and I used to like to tease you
and I used to strike you dumb
and I loved it when you hummed

and you used to laugh your ass off
and I used to laugh along
and I loved it when you learned to play our song
Track Name: Karaoke Night
welcome to Berlin
and this Spandau bar
where no one is
who we really are

you are not from here
well, I can tell
buy yourself a drink
get me one as well

I just might as well

if you bring on out your lighter
and create a softer light
I'll picture this place crowded
on its karaoke night

there's no missus no
don't be sorry, dear
it's not just you –
it's hot in here

would you be so kind
to watch my drink
cause I'm up next
I just love to sing

God how I love to sing

if you bring on out your lighter
and create a softer light
I'll picture this place crowded
on its karaoke night

if you bring your hands together
I'll imagine my applause
for a moment I'm this big success
I never really was

I never really was

if you bring on out your lighter
and create a softer light
I'll picture this place crowded
on its karaoke night
Track Name: Good Year For The Papers
our fireworks at New Year were the bomb
the fun was short in a bar miles further on
the drama it was all over the news

I was up watching from the couch all night
with no one there to tell me it was gonna be alright
where were you when all hell broke loose

just a few disasters later
it doesn’t take that much to see
it’s been a good year for the papers
a bad one for me

W. says it’s now an eye for an eye
Queen B. thinks that soon we’ll all turn blind
me I’m just scared that we ain’t seen nothing yet

just a few disasters later
it doesn’t take that much to see
it’s been a good year for the papers
a bad one for me

where were you when all hell broke loose
Track Name: 5 Minutes Beside A Hospital Bed
she lost all her hair
but she still is in there
exactly like Isabelle said
they've painted her nails
all good promises fail
and quickly my eyes turn red

she says:

thank you for coming here
you're a real good friend
too bad we haven't been lovers

and I say:

go make the bed

her pain is severe
I just smile through my tears
and tell her that I understand
she thought it all through
so what else can I do
but quietly hold her hand

she says:

thank you for coming here
you're a real good friend
too bad we haven't been lovers

and I say:

you go ahead and make the bed
Track Name: Tarot, Tequila
life wasn't easy, Belle would confide
you couldn't stop crying when Patrick had died
the story continues at the microphone stand
family dramas with no happy end

I remember picture perfect
a few summers back now, a field in the sun
the six of us out there - tarot and tequila
who could've known then you'd be the one

the doctor he staggered, he showed you the scans
the cancer had come back all over again
last week on Friday when you closed your eyes
you said you could feel it, you said it felt nice

I remember picture perfect
a few summers back now, a field in the sun
the six of us out there - tarot and tequila
who could have known then you'd be the one

you were the one
Track Name: For Isabelle
I heard you came to visit
with real long blond hair
you appeared through a hole in the wall
on a night she wasn't there

she finds it hard without you
today I heard her say
she's afraid her stomach ache
might never go away

well

would you please come down here
just to see if she's alright
would you please come down here
for Isabelle tonight

that time she came to visit
you were weak but strong
you told her that she could be sad
but she couldn’t grieve too long

I think she’d like to tell you
she’s done the best she can
and last week on Queen’s Day
she sort of ran into Diane

well

would you please come down here
just to see if she's alright
would you please come down here
for Isabelle tonight
Track Name: Grandpa's Sprinkler
the house hasn't changed over all the years
but it’s been awhile since I've seen
the sky this blue
the grass just as green

cute and so blond in our bathing suits
on a late-summer lawn
he'd walk to the garage
and the sprinkler went on

and we'd skip
and we'd run
and we'd jump here
and we'd leap-frog and spin
and he'd smile
while we'd sing
at the pump here
until mom called us back in

gran steps outside with a walking stick
she has sure gotten old
we’ll remember her from
that time before he turned cold

and we'd skip
and we'd run
and we'd jump here
and we'd leap-frog and spin
and he'd smile
while we'd sing
at the pump here
until mom called us in

and so life goes on and on

the girls in the grass feel just as at home
one dares me with these big blue eyes
so I chase her around
and throw her up to the sky